


Boxes and Clippers

by Yallsehood



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Gay, Hair cut, Happy Ending, High School Logan, High School Patton, High School Roman, High School Virgil, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Insecurity, Logan is only mentioned - Freeform, M/M, Patton and Virgil are best friends, Pining Prinxiety - Freeform, Platonic Moxiety, Platonic Virgil and Patton, Prinxiety - Freeform, Roman is only mentioned, Sanders Sides high school au, Self Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Trans Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Trans Male Character, Virgil is sad, Virgil is trans, Virgil pines for Roman, Virgil’s pining, binder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24507040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yallsehood/pseuds/Yallsehood
Summary: A package arrives for Virgil, and Patton waits to allow him to open it on his own. Virgil’s ecstatic to find out his binder has arrived. Today would the day Virgil would fully come out at school. He was excited... and absolutely terrified.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 112





	Boxes and Clippers

The feeling of uncertainty started to fill Virgil’s chest when he looked at himself in the mirror that morning. It wasn’t a He that Virgil saw when he looked in the mirror though. Hell, his brain said Virgil while his body said something completely different. It still seemed unreal to him.. what had happened in the past few weeks? His entire life was changing, and his two best friends were making sure it was getting done in the safest way possible. 

Virgil slowly pulled himself out of bed, and he tried to tell himself that Virgil was his name. There was no need to let the other one reach his ears or cross his mind. He just needed to remind himself that those things didn’t matter anymore. Virgil zipped up his hoodie and sighed a bit. He went to fix his hair when he heard a knock on the door. “Patt?” He asked.

“Yeah! Can I come in?”

“Just a second…” Virgil mumbled. He quickly tucked his shoulder length hair into a beanie. It made him look like a boy. It made him feel like a real boy…. but would he ever be a real boy? Virgil doubted it. He also doubted that was the correct wording. Before he could truly let his mind go down that road, he reminded himself that Patton was at the door. “You can come in.” He muttered.

Patton opened the door to his guest bedroom. He often let Virgil stay over since he didn’t have a house. He really looked to Virgil like a brother, but that might be due to the fact he’d been letting Virgil stay in this guest bedroom whenever he needed to since they were six. “Um.. something came in the mail yesterday while you were napping. I didn’t wanna wake you.” Patton chirped as he wanted the bedroom. He had a little box in his hands. He wouldn’t open the box. He knew this was something for Virgil. “Suppose now is the time we find out if those measurements Logan took were right, huh?” His voice was a little softer this time.

Virgil’s heart leapt into his throat when he saw the box. He knew what was in there. It was something he was hoping would get rid of the negative feelings he had towards part of his body. He was a little shaky as he took the box from Patton. “My binder?” He asked softly. As scared as he was, there was this light to Virgil’s eyes. He was happy. 

The curly haired brunette that was shorter than the other nodded. “I think so. Unless I grabbed the wrong box. I ordered some sewing supplies, but I didn’t open the box yet in case they were labeled wrong. I wanted you to open it, Virge.” He said. “I can’t imagine how much this all means and-”

Virgil held up his hand as he sat down on the bed with the small cardboard box. “Thank you.” He said. He took a pen from his hoodie pocket, and stabbed the tape that was keeping the package shut. Virgil was delicate with it, but moved rather quickly. He wanted to wear his binder to school. He knew binding too long could be dangerous, but he’d stay aware. He just wanted to feel a little bit more like himself… but gosh, that sounded frightening. 

After getting the box open and seeing the binder in it, Virgil bit his lip. He was thrilled beyond belief, but also terrified. “Um, Patton?” He questioned. He was trying to sound as nice as he could instead of sounding choked up. 

Patton looked over at his friend and smiled softly. “What is it, kiddo? I didn’t grab the wrong box, did I? I’m so-”

“It’s perfect.” Virgil said, interrupting Patton for the second time that morning. It was still early, and Virgil didn’t have time for a Patton ramble right now. The sun hadn’t risen yet, so Virgil was still tired. It was clear that he wasn’t exactly a morning person. The only reason he was up this early was because Patton agreed to cut his hair before they went to school. “I just need to change. I’ll meet you downstairs?”

The shorter teen nodded his head and got up. “I’ll go grab the scissors, and get ready to cut your hair! Remember to grab something to eat.” He said. Patton left Virgil alone after this. He figured he might need some space right now. 

Virgil did in fact need space right now, but some of the space he needed was from the thoughts in his head. He hadn’t worn a binder to school before. Part of him was excited, but the truth was that he was downright terrified. This was another step towards being who he wanted to be, but part of him was letting go of something. Virgil had concerns, and worries. When he looked in the mirror his mind just wouldn’t stop racing. 

As he slipped off his shirt, he let the worries race through his mind. What if this was all some sort of lie? Part of Virgil wanted to hit the reset button and be a girl. That’s only because he was so frightened of losing people. See, Virgil had found this guy he had a crush on: Roman Knightly. This guy was a classic Prince Charming character. Virgil knew it in his heart. Part of him wondered if it was part of that princess dream he had as a kid. Part of him still wanted to be a princess for someone, but not a girl. Guys could be princesses too, right? 

A little shakily, Virgil had put on the binder. He couldn’t bring himself to look in the mirror, so he kept his eyes shut for the time being. No matter what others saw, Virgil would always see his imperfection. That perfect body they lecture you about in health class? Virgil had it. His chest wasn’t huge, but he had the curves of an hourglass figure. It was sickening to him. He was scared he’d never pass. Even if he was getting his haircut, his body still screamed feminine. 

That’s when Virgil’s purple eyes opened to look at the image before him. He bit his lip as he felt emotions grow inside him. The binder really made him feel like himself. Virgil took a deep breath as he wrapped his arms around his center. This was change. This was different. It was a good different. Virgil just needed to remind himself of that, and hopefully he’d get through the day without panicking  _ too _ much. That was all he could hope for. 

Still, part of his mind was causing him to doubt things. He slipped his shirt back on, and then his hoodie. What if Roman would never like him back just because he wasn’t a real guy? Yeah, today was the day Virgil was going to start going to school as he saw himself. He was coming out of this damn closet, and he was hoping that Roman would still like him. He was hoping Roman wouldn’t mind that he was trans. He didn’t want to lose a shot at romance just because of his identity. And that idea was exhausting. 

Screw the people who wouldn’t accept him, right? Part of Virgil knew that Roman would accept since he was part of the community, but there were still mean people within it. Besides, Roman was homosexual, and he didn’t know the struggle of being trans. Maybe he would react poorly to it. Virgil tried to reassure himself that Roman wasn’t like that. Perhaps Roman would even attempt to understand what he was going through. (After all, Logan and Patton did that. They were Virgil’s closest friends). Anyhow, Roman was a sweet guy who would accept him no matter what he looked like… and maybe Virgil could be his princess. 

The anxious teen zipped up his hoodie and placed his hands inside his pocket. Putting on the shirt and hoodie had caused his beanie to fall off a bit. A few strands of his wavy, brunette hair had fallen out. He tried to pay no mind to those few strands of his hair. He tucked them back into the beanie. Soon, his hair would be much shorter. Everything would be alright. Everything would feel alright… at least, that was what Virgil was hoping for. 

He had to take another deep breath before opening the bedroom door and walking downstairs. He was glad he decided to spend the night with Patton instead of in the abandoned shack he lived in alone. Virgil knew this was the right choice. He was taking care of himself, and asking for help. On top of all of that, Patton was helping with his image too. So, he came down the stairs with his messenger back that served as his backpack. “Hair cut time?” He questioned.

Patton nodded. He took Virgil into the downstairs bathroom. “I’ve cut hair before and I promise I’ll take good care of your hair.” He said simply. Patton always tried to be good to his best friend. He would make sure Virgil was as happy as he could be. 

“I know… you’ve done it before.” He muttered. Virgil had slowly been cutting his hair shorter and shorter. A hair dresser told him that would be healthier for his type of hair. He was just thankful he was finally to the point where he wouldn’t have to hide his hair. It’d finally be as short as he wanted it to be. 

It seemed as if everything was falling into place. Virgil removed the black beanie so Patton could start working on his hair. Everything was starting to look up, and he was hoping it would stay that way. He felt more relief run through his body with each clipping sound the scissors made. Virgil thought it might be stupid something as simple as a haircut could make him feel better, but when pattom was done? He didn’t think it was stupid at all. His bangs still covered his eyes, but it was short. It didn’t even go past his ears. 

Patton swept up the hair that was by Virgil’s feet. He was a little nervous of his best friend’s reaction. “What do you think, kiddo?” He said softly. Patton threw the hair in the trash. 

Virgil ran his fingers through his hair and smirked a bit. He was thrilled. “It’s perfect, Patt.” He said. It wasn’t clear on his face, but it was obvious how happy he was just by the way he spoke. Okay, well, maybe Virgil managed to crack a smile.

A large grin was on Patton’s face. He bounced a little bit on his heels as he saw how happy Virgil was. Patton did a good job! He was proud of himself, and he thought Virgil looked good too. “Ready to go to school?

Honestly, the mention of school made Virgil’s happiness come to a sudden halt. School… school like this? That fear was suddenly back in his system. There were days Virgil doubted he would look like this. Now, here he was. He was taking things one step at a time, and he was starting to feel more and more like himself. Everything could work out. Sure, people would still misgender him, and deadname. That wouldn’t compare to how loved he felt around the people who accepted him. Those were the people that mattered. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” 

Sure, Virgil wouldn’t be able to shake his fear completely, but that wasn’t going to stop him from being himself. He was a boy. His name was Virgil Storm. Nothing and no one could stop him. This was who he was, and he was proud. Virgil had to learn to accept himself, and he was hoping that the world would too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I’ve been working on this one for awhile, and I hope it’s okay. 
> 
> Also, happy pride everyone.


End file.
